If laziness burned calories, I'd be a toothpick.

Breaking news: I still don't know what I'm doing with my life!

Is it too early to start drinking?

When they won't let you eat the snacks before singing happy birthday.

When the coffee is so strong that it wakes you up until the next reincarnation.

When you forget to put sugar in your coffee!

Life is like a game of chess. Sometimes you make a wrong move and realize you are cornered.

When your body wakes up but your soul stays in bed.

Guys, let's agree on one thing? If someone in the group wins the lottery, we'll divide it up equally, ok?

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or ask for a tequila and forget your problems.