If a smile is the best medicine, I'm a mobile pharmacy.

Monday should be optional. Who agrees with me?

If you don't drink water, that's your problem, but at least water your little plants!

When the coffee is so strong that it wakes you up until the next reincarnation.

The day only starts after the third coffee.

The only exercise that I do is lifting weight... of food into my mouth.

I'm trying to become a healthier person, but it looks like my body didn't get the message and keeps ordering pizza.

I'm not disorganized, I just have a minimalist lifestyle.

When they won't let you eat the snacks before singing happy birthday.

When you forget to put sugar in your coffee!