If you don't drink water, that's your problem, but at least water your little plants!

When the coffee is so strong that it wakes you up until the next reincarnation.

The only exercise that I do is lifting weight... of food into my mouth.

I'm trying to become a healthier person, but it looks like my body didn't get the message and keeps ordering pizza.

I'm not disorganized, I just have a minimalist lifestyle.

When they won't let you eat the snacks before singing happy birthday.

Know what my super power is? Making future plans and then forgetting about them completely.

When you forget to put sugar in your coffee!

If laziness burned calories, I'd be a toothpick.

Breaking news: I still don't know what I'm doing with my life!