Guys, let's agree on one thing? If someone in the group wins the lottery, we'll divide it up equally, ok? View message

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or ask for a tequila and forget your problems. View message

If you don't drink water, that's your problem, but at least water your little plants! View message

Know what my super power is? Making future plans and then forgetting about them completely. View message

The only exercise that I do is lifting weight... of food into my mouth. View message

I'm not disorganized, I just have a minimalist lifestyle. View message

I'm not lazy, I just think that my body deserves to rest after so many years of evolution. View message

If a smile is the best medicine, I'm a mobile pharmacy. View message

I'm trying to become a healthier person, but it looks like my body didn't get the message and keeps ordering pizza. View message

I'm not lazy, I'm just in power saving mode. View message